If you had the chance to interview Dick Cheney after the IG Torture report came out, what would you ask him? Would you ask him how he felt about tarnishing the country’s image? Would you ask him how he felt about the hundreds of prisoners that died while in American custody? Would you ask him how scared he was about the possibility of becoming a war criminal?

If you’re Chris Wallace you don’t ask any of these hard-hitting questions. Instead you ask him these questions:

Why are you so concerned about the idea of one administration reviewing, investigating the actions of another one?

Do you think this was a political move not a law enforcement move?

The inspector general’s report which was just released from 2004 details some specific interrogations — mock executions, one of the detainees threatened with a handgun and with an electric drill, waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times. First of all, did you know that was going on?

So even these cases where they went beyond the specific legal authorization, you’re OK with it?

That’s right, instead of asking Dick Cheney about being the mastermind of America’s torture program, Chris Wallace decided to get on his knees and do his best Jenna Haze impression.

Of course Chris Wallace didn’t think he was being soft on Dick Cheney. I’m sure he thought he asked all the right questions. And I’m sure after the interview he went back to his room, turned on his TiVo, unzipped his pants and jerked off to Dick Cheney answering his tough questions.

Just like every white, redneck, stupid fucking American who thinks Dick Cheney is a true patriot.

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Tags: Fuck Chris Wallace, Fuck Dick Cheney, Fuck Fox News, Torture
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Why aren’t any Americans doing stuff like this?

A former Justice Department official who wrote controversial memos authorizing the Bush administration to conduct torture was the object of a prank by an Australian comedian during one of his recent law class lectures.

John Yoo, a former deputy assistant attorney general who has faced intense criticism for authoring constitutionally-questionable memos justifying torture and the government’s warrantless wiretapping program, was confronted last week during a lecture he was giving on international law at Chapman University School of Law, a private school in Southern California.

After Yoo mentions the Constitution during his lecture, and asks the students if they have any questions, an Australian comedian from the show Chaser’s War on Everything is seen wearing a black-hooded robe and standing on top of his desk with his arms outstretched, recalling one of the most iconic images of U.S. torture captured in the now-infamous Abu Ghraib photos.

The comedian says, “Actually, professor, I’ve got one question. Uhm, how long can I be required to stand here ’til it counts as torture?”

Yoo cuts his lecture short and replies, “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to end class,” as he packs up his lecture notes.

As Yoo apologizes to the class for the interruption, the comedian replies, “If this is awkward for you, it’s very uncomfortable for me, I can tell you…. I’d love to move but every time I do my balls get buzzed.”

Goddammit, it’s a sad fucking day when an Australian flies halfway around the world to pull off this magnificent prank while John Yoo’s teaching, only to have the American students stand up and applaud the jerk-off who justified torture.

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Tags: Fuck John Yoo, Fuck those students, Torture, Torture Memos
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Because they have work to do.

The man charged with killing abortion provider Dr. George Tiller claimed Sunday that more violence is possible while the medical procedure is allowed to continue, giving his warning in calls that also focused on complaints about his treatment in jail.

This is it people. The ticking time bomb scenario. This man has information about future attacks on American citizens. We need this information, and we need it fast.

This is what we have to do: We need to strip Scott Roeder naked and force him into many stress positions. Then we need to keep him awake for 16 days. We also need to feed him at random hours so he loses track of time. Once the 16 hours are up, we need to bring in a group of untrained interrogators to question him.

If they don’t like his answers, then we need to take a Bible and flush it down the toilet, force him to masturbate in front of a couple of female soldiers, bring in seven German Shepherds and have them tear off pieces of his ass, force him to wear a dog collar and slam his head into a breakable wall, punch him in the face, slice his balls with a scalpel, and electrocute his balls with a car battery.

If he doesn’t give the interrogators creditable information about upcoming attacks on American soil, then we need to take off the gloves and bring in private contractors to waterboard him. And we can’t pussyfoot around like we did with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. American lives are at stake and we need good goddamn answers.

What? We’re not going to use enhanced interrogation techniques on this fucker? Why the hell not?

Oh that’s right. We only use enhanced interrogation techniques on brown Muslim men in countries we illegally invade. We never use them on white Christian men in America. Even if they say more American doctors are going to be killed for following the law.

So, my mistake. I hope no one was offended by this. And I’ve got to be honest, I can’t wait until another doctor is killed by some crazy white Christian man. Because I  love reading how Christians condone it.

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Tags: Dr. Tiller, Fucking Crazy Christians, I hate white people, Scott Roeder, Torture
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I wonder what percentage of those get sexually aroused by it.

Just over half of Americans say torture is at least sometimes justified to thwart terrorist attacks and are evenly divided over whether to close the Guantanamo Bay prison, according to a poll that underscores the challenges President Barack Obama faces in selling his terror-fighting policies.

Is anyone surprised by this? Not me, because the majority of Americans are white, and if it’s one thing white people love it’s torturing and/or illegally jailing colored people.

Don’t believe me? Read a fucking history book and you’ll learn that we’ve tortured and/or illegally imprisoned Indians, Blacks, Mexicans, Cubans, Chileans, Argentinians, Brazilians, Panamanians, Japanese, Vietnamese, Iranians, Iraqis, and the Afghans.

Even our entertainment is filled with violence and torture. 24 influences our foreign policy for fuck’s sake.

Plus, we’ve got a shit ton of stupid people in this country. Which means those stupid people get to elect other stupid people that get to lead this fucking country.

Take South Carolina for example. They’re so stupid they keep electing Lindsay  Graham, even though he says stupid shit like, “I mean, one of the reasons these techniques (ed. note -torture) have survived for about 500 years is apparently they work.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Hey Lindsay, murder, rape, assault, slavery, child fucking, prostitution, drug use, and adultery have been around for more than 500 years. Why don’t we go ahead and make those legal too?

I’m sick of stupid people being allowed to fuck other stupid people and giving birth to more stupid people.

For example, take that fucking guy in the picture at the top of this post. He’s fucking smiling and giving the thumbs up and “We’re Number One” sign over the body of some Middle Eastern man, and I’m sure that asshole has a stupid fucking  wife and at least one stupid fucking kid.

Goddammit, this country is fucked up. I can’t wait until swine flu wipes us all out. I just hope it takes Randall Terry and his family first.

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Tags: Americans support Torture, Hasn't Lindsay Graham come out yet, Lindsay Graham, Randall Terry, Torture, White People suck
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So she can shut the fuck up.

Why the hell do we care about what this worthless cunt has to say? Was she with her dad when he was briefed about impending terrorist attacks? She was? Then why didn’t she do anything when the FBI told him about bin Laden?

Oh that’s right, she wasn’t fucking there. Why wasn’t she there? Because she wasn’t apart of George Bush’s cabinet. That means she didn’t get any daily briefings, she doesn’t know anything about the intelligence reports, and she doesn’t get to tell the American people how her dad keep us safe.

I wish someone in the media would grow a pair and tell this fucking slut to shut her mouth. Of course if someone in the media had a pair then we wouldn’t be fighting in these two fucking wars.

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Tags: Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney is a douche, Liz Cheney, Torture
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But I agree with Barack Obama.

In a dramatic, high-profile reversal for his young administration, President Barack Obama is seeking to block the release of 44 photographs depicting abuse of detainees in U.S. military custody in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“The publication of these photos would not add any additional benefit to our understanding of what was carried out in the past by small number of individuals,” the president told reporters Wednesday as he left the White House on a two-day trip to the Southwest.

“In fact,’ he said, “the most direct consequence of releasing them, I believe, would be to further inflame anti-American opinion and to put our troops in greater danger.”

Look, I know I’m going to get a few angry emails about agreeing with Barack Obama, but let’s use logic for a moment.  Once the Muslim world sees these horrific pictures of us waterboarding detainees, slamming their heads into walls, slicing their genitals, and electrocuting them -  they’re going to be pissed.  And who are the Muslims going to take it out on?

That’s right, the men and women overseas protecting the freedoms we take for granted.

Sure, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop bombing small villages and killing hundreds of innocent civilians.  And sure, Barack Obama could also protect our soldiers by forcing the military to stop using chemical weapons against innocent civilians.  And yes, Barack Obama could protect our soldiers by forcing them to stop handing out Bibles.  But come on, let’s be realistic here, if Barack Obama stopped doing any of these things then the terrorist win.

And Barack Obama knows that terrorist cannot be allowed to win.  But he also knows the only way America can win the support of the Muslim world is by not showing these torture pictures.

Because anyone who knows anything about Muslims knows the one thing that pisses them off the most isn’t the unjustified occupation, the murdering of innocent civilians, the raping of innocent women, the torture, the destruction of their villages, and the economic collapse of their nation – it’s photographs of enhanced interrogation techniques….

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Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Barack Obama is a pussy, Iraq, Torture, Torture Pictures
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We finally have enough information about torture to start arresting motherfuckers.

CIA Inspector General John Helgerson raised concerns in a 2004 top-secret report his office prepared about the legality of the interrogation techniques agency interrogators used against admitted 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

In the report, Helgerson concluded that the CIA’s “enhanced interrogation” program “appeared to constitute cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment, as defined by the International Convention Against Torture” and the interrogation of Mohammed “could expose agency officers to legal liability,” according to a Nov. 9, 2005 report published in the New York Times.

Now, thanks to the release last week of four Justice Department “torture” memos Helgerson’s concerns make sense.

Fuck yeah.  Let’s go after those bitches who did this shit in our name.  Let’s go after those bitches who waterboarded Khalid Sheik Mohammed 183 times in a month.  Let’s go after those bitches who electrocuted detainees’ genitals with car batteries.  Let’s go after those bitches who slammed detainees’ heads into walls.  Let’s go President Obama, I want fucking justice and I want it now.

What?  He isn’t going to go after those bitches who did this shit?  Why not?

“This is a time for reflection, not retribution,” Obama said in a statement. “We have been through a dark and painful chapter in our history. But at a time of great challenges and disturbing disunity, nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past.”

Alright, well um, I’m sure President Obama has a good reason for it.  I mean, if he went after those bitches who did this, then the CIA would withhold important information about future attacks.  And President Obama doesn’t want that to happen because it puts the American people at risk.  Of course he could just tell the CIA how fucking childish they’re acting, but he’s trying to be diplomatic about this.  So I’m going to give President Obama the benefit of the doubt.

But this means Obama’s going to go after the big dogs.   The ones who allowed those bitches to use torture.  Bush, Cheney, Yoo, Bybee, Gonzales, and Rumsfeld.  These are the motherfuckers that allowed this shit to happen.  Let’s go Obama.  Let Lady Justice strap on her 13-inch colorless dildo and  butt fuck these evil, sadistic cunts.

Goddammit.  Are you serious?  What excuse has he given now?

President Barack Obama does not intend to prosecute Bush administration officials who devised the policies that led to the harsh interrogation of suspected terrorists, White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel said Sunday.

Asked Sunday on ABC’s “This Week” about the fate of those officials, Emanuel said the president believes they “should not be prosecuted either and that’s not the place that we go.”

This man is a fucking pussy.  The Democrats are fucking pussies.  The Republicans spent an entire decade prosecuting a Democratic president for getting a blow job in the Oval Office, yet the Democrats shove their thumbs up their asses when a Republican president signs off on the torture of thousands of people.

And why hasn’t the media done anything about this?  Why hasn’t some reporter ask, “Yeah, um, Mr. President – these guys broke the law and tortured the shit out of a bunch of colored people.  Why aren’t you doing anything about it?”

Oh that’s right, it’s because the media is to busy talking about Obama shaking hands with some dickbag.

But let’s be honest, this nation really doesn’t care about how we treat colored people during war.  I mean, out of the many wars we’ve fought, this nation only cares about how we treat our enemies when they’re white.  Like in the American Revolution, the Civil War, WWI, WW2, and the Cold War.

The rest of the wars – the Indian Wars, the Mexican-American War, the Spanish-American War, the U.S. Intervention in Samoan Civil War, the U.S.-Philippine War, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, the U.S. Invasion of Grenada, the U.S. Invasion of Panama, the first Iraq War, the Kosovo War, and the second Iraq War – were against colored people, and we did some really fucked up things to those color people.

So I don’t know why I’m upset about Obama’s decision.  I guess it’s because instead of a white man not caring about what we do to colored people, it’s a black man that doesn’t care about what we do to colored people.

But what the fuck can I do about it?  Not a goddamn thing.  So instead of getting angry at how fucked up our government is, and how they don’t give a shit about anyone who isn’t rich, white, and powerful – I’m going to go smoke a bowl and jerk off to some internet porn. You know, to relieve some anger….

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Tags: Barack Obama, CIA, Torture, What a bunch of pussies, White House
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