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nutsack

This guest post comes from Shane over at In Case You Missed It

As in David Nutt, (former) chairman of the Advisory Committee on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) in the UK, has been fired for doing his job. Isn’t it great to know that we haven’t made any progress since Galileo was forced to renounce his work and writings concerning the theories of Nicolaus Copernicus, who had suggested that the sun, not the Earth, was the center of the universe almost 400 years ago? Somehow this case seems even more totalitarian. A scientist, whose job is to give advice on drug law, has lost his job for giving the advice he was hired to give because it doesn’t fit in with the government’s get tough on drugs sales pitch to the deluded public. Yes, it’s not only America where you have to blow the populist trumpet hoping that the semi-literate masses will vote for you come election day, the UK it seems is every bit as bad.

It’s even worse knowing that things weren’t always so bad for the Labour Party and the UK. In fact it was only 2004 when the government actually listened to the advice given to them by their drug experts and downgraded cannabis from a Class B to C (the UK uses a system where A is the most harmful illegal drug and C the least). Since the reclassification didn’t result in an upswing of smokers and in fact saved an estimated 199,000 police hours, this action had its predictable reaction – the tabloid press hard sell along the lines of “drugs are bad, how can you be doing this to our children? Will someone please think of the children!” – this time mostly revolving around a scare story involving new and improved skunk weed which was so potent it caused psychosis. Enter a new British PM losing popularity by the day who is easily influenced by the polling numbers and suddenly you had the leader of a nation saying things like, “I think people know my view about cannabis and particularly about this lethal version of it, skunk.” Before you know it, the UK found itself back where it started, busting 72-year-old milkmen for delivering weed to old ladies as the government re-upgraded cannabis to Class B in January earlier this year. Of course this move came despite a report at the time from the ACMD recommending that cannabis remain a Class C drug.

So, what do you do when you are a scientist whose job it is to help formulate drug policy by providing unbiased scientific evidence only to see your work ignored? You try to draw attention to your cause, attempting to influence public opinion with facts and evidence; much to the dismay of the British government, David Nutt has been quite good at this. He was head of the team who devised a radical new system for classifying drugs – one based on harm to individuals and society instead of old-wives tales. Ultimately, it was this stance that forced Nutt’s resignation as he once again tried to remind people that drugs such as alcohol and tobacco are more harmful than LSD, ecstasy or cannabis. Additionally, he released a paper pointing out that ecstasy, a Class A drug, is in fact more benign activity than equestrianism. This latter report earned him a rebuke from his boss in the government, Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary at the time.

The influence of the tabloid press in Britain is something I don’t claim to understand very well. I picture it as having a British version of the Fox News effect in the US, an important tool in ensuring that the semi-literate view the world through a haze of confusion. In the correspondence between Nutt and Home Secretary Alan Johnson, the man responsible for demanding Nutt’s resignation, Johnson practically admitted that misinforming the public is part of the plan. Johnson’s letter to Nutt stated, “I cannot have public confusion between scientific advice and policy and have therefore lost confidence in your ability to advise me as chair of the ACMD.” Huh? Really? If ministers care so little for independent scientific advice, maybe they should save public money by sacking the entire group of experts and instead appoint a committee of tabloid editors. After all, rags like the Daily Mail are onside with the firing, publishing an article comparing Agassi smoking crystal meth to the ‘nutty’ Professor Nutt. Why do they love that term drug tsar so much?

The pandering of the current Home Secretary to the tabloid press is another sad example of the disconnect between public policy and facts. Alan Johnson and his government now face a mass revolt from the official drug advisory board. As resignations begin to come in, one has to wonder if this is actually what the government wants. Nasty facts get in the way, especially when your nation is facing an epidemic of addiction to legal prescription drugs – there are over 1.5 million over-the-counter addicts in the UK today. Who knows, maybe it’s a Scientology plot? Far be it for me to suggest that simply legalizing cannabis would be some kind of panacea but it would be nice if government policy, in all areas, were determined by facts instead of fear. Reefer Madness, here we go again.

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Fuck your pity.

We don't need your fucking pity.

What else would you call this?

The Obama Administration said today that people who use and sell marijuana for medical purposes should not face federal prosecution. Instead, prosecutors should go after only high level traffickers.

The new Justice Department guidelines issued today to 14 states that allow medical marijuana effectively reverse long-existing stance on the drug. The Bush Administration raided medical distributors who violated federal laws.

Obama’s feeling pressure from his base because he hasn’t fought for the public option, or reformed Wall Street, or closed Gitmo, or stopped bombing the Middle East, or stopped bitching about Fox News. So he does what every politician does when they upset the people that got them elected – he gives them a pity-fuck.

But it wasn’t a full pity-fuck, because there wasn’t any penetration. No, Obama made his base get on their knees, stick out their tongue, and act as his cum sock.

Why do I say that? Because he didn’t change jack shit. He didn’t sign any legislation barring the Justice Department from arresting medical marijuana patients. He didn’t tell Congress to draft legislation barring the Justice Department from arresting medical marijuana patients. And he hasn’t condemned the Justice Department from raiding dispensaries the last time he promised this shit .

So this is just Obama’s go to move when his base is pissed off.

And his base bought it hook, line, and sinker, because they’re praising his name while lapping up his jizz.

Except me. Because I don’t trust this corporate whore, and I only allow people with huge balls to jizz on my face.

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The Fonz approves this story.

The Fonz approves.

I love seeing the little guy sticking it to the man.

Stiff competition from thousands of mom-and-pop marijuana farmers in the United States threatens the bottom line for powerful Mexican drug organizations in a way that decades of arrests and seizures have not, according to law enforcement officials and pot growers in the United States and Mexico.

Of course I would love to see the government use this news to legalize marijuana, but I know I have a better chance of waking up in the morning with a 13-inch cock than marijuana becoming legal. So I’m just going to sit back, smoke some mom-and-pop marijuana, and watch an episode or four of Mad Men.

Update – This also makes me happy.

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Dr Joycelyn Elders

Is my fucking hero.

You’re also a vocal proponent of medical marijuana. Why?

I have been speaking out about it for a long time. I’m a member of the board of advisors of a medical marijuana group. To me, it’s not nearly as toxic for our bodies as tobacco or alcohol. It should be legalized. As far as we know, it doesn’t cause lung cancer, it doesn’t cause people to go out and drive drunk and commit crimes. If it helps reduce the nausea and vomiting and reduce leg cramps, make patients feel better, what’s wrong with that? We should make it available to people who need it. I feel if people want marijuana, they could get a prescription. Then we can tax it and know who is getting it. I don’t think it is a drug that is doing harm to this country. By arresting people, putting them in jail for crimes related to marijuana, we’re spending millions on drug enforcement and it causes more problems. Young people are convicted of a crime, they can’t get money to go to school, we have over 2 million prisoners a years and many related to drug use—it is a vicious cycle and one we created.

Now, I know your thinking who the fuck is Dr. Joycelyn Elders and why should I give a fuck about her being your hero?

Dr. Joycelyn Elders was the first African-American woman appointed to surgeon general in 1993.  And she has been the only surgeon general who has said that marijuana should be legal because it is safer than alcohol and tobacco. (Plus she’s the only woman who can pull off that hair style with those glasses.)

But what catapulted her from “cool black woman” surgeon general to “I’m going to let this woman have my baby” surgeon general  is how she got fired. She got yanked out of office for telling people that teenagers should masturbate instead of having unprotected sex.

Let me say that again: Dr. Joycelyn Elders, the first African-American woman surgeon general, told teenagers they should masturbate instead of having unprotected sex.

How fucking badass is that?

Note to any government employee who reads this blog: you will automatically become my new hero if you publicly state that you’re an advocate of masturbation.

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Mark Kirk and George Bush

Because why else would he be doing this?

U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk will call for legislation Monday that would toughen drug trafficking laws regarding a highly-potent form of marijuana, with penalties of up to 25 years in prison for a 1st-time offense.

The law would target offenders who sell or distribute marijuana that has a THC content exceeding 15 percent, which is between 5 and 10 percent higher than average marijuana, according to Kirk’s office. THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, is the main active ingredient in marijuana.

I like this law. I like the message it sends to drug dealers. It lets them know that we’re sick of losing the War on Drugs, and we will not stand around with our thumbs up our asses while they destroy our magnificent country one dime bag at a…I’m sorry, I can’t do this.

This  is a stupid fucking law. 25 years in jail for first time offenders? For selling a little bit of pot? Really? Shouldn’t this be for pot dealers that kill people or pot dealers that rape people or pot dealers that kill then rape people? I mean, isn’t this legislation a bit excessive?

What the fuck am I talking about? Of course it isn’t. It’s pot dealers that are destroying this country.

Because of pot dealers millions of Americans are out of work, homeless, and uninsured. Because of pot dealers thousands of American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi citizens have been killed in a senseless war. Because of pot dealers companies with political connections are getting billions of American taxpayers’ dollars through no-bid contracts. Because of pot dealers the Federal Reserve can’t account for 9 trillion dollars. Because of pot dealers our government had to bailout Wall Street, take over GM, and torture detainees.

So I’m sorry Mr. Kirk. I forgot you are a man on a mission sent from God. Please continue to call for legislation that would make Stalin cream his pants. Because the sooner we get those sorry pot dealers in jail, the sooner our country and way of life will improve.

Update: Thanks Zirgar for pointing out how incredibly stupid Mark Kirk is.

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Because this asshat doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. Drug use goes in waves? People have lost their lives to marijuana? What a fucking dickbag.

And thank god Tennessee Congressman Steve Cohen called Robert Mueller out on the gateway theory. I can’t stand that stupid fucking theory because we can apply it to anything. Hugs should be outlawed because rapist started out with hugs. Masturbation should be outlawed because gay people started out masturbating. Pets should be outlawed because serial killers start out by killing them.

Can we please start promoting people within government agencies who aren’t fucking retarded?

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