Here are ten questions I wish the dickless David Gregory would have asked Timothy Geithner yesterday on Meet the Press:

1. Where has all the TARP money gone?
2. Why don’t you want Congress to audit the Fed?
3. Why is the derivatives market still not regulated?
4. Why do you take Wall Street’s phone calls before Congress’?
5. Why did you allow AIG to repay Goldman Sachs 100 percent on the dollar?
6. What would have happened if you took all the TARP money and gave it to the American people?
7. Why don’t you support an executive cap?
8. Will you be bailing out GMAC again?
9. How is it that Goldman Sachs is going to make 1 billion dollars off of CIT’s bankruptcy, and the American taxpayer’s going to lose 2.3 billion?
10. When Wall Street’s about to cum, do you wrap your lips around the entire dick and allow the cum to fill your mouth before swallowing, or do you hold the dick 4 inches from your face and let Wall Street use your tongue as a target?

Now I know that last question is too vulgar for a Sunday news show, but I think it should be asked because it will tell America a lot about Timothy Geithner.

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Tags: Both of these men suck cock, David Gregory, Meet the Press, Timothy Geithner, White House
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I’m a huge fan of movie sequels. I love the second Spider-Man movie, the second Batman movie (both Michael Keaton and Christian Bale versions), the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie, the second Toy Story movie, and yes, even the second Saturday Night Fever movie.

So I can’t fucking wait until the second Vietnam War movie .

President Obama announced in March that he would be sending 21,000 additional troops to Afghanistan. But in an unannounced move, the White House has also authorized — and the Pentagon is deploying — at least 13,000 troops beyond that number, according to defense officials.

Now, in order for this sequel to work there needs to be slight improvements over the original. And since I’m a fan of Direct General McChrystal’s work, I’m going to offer him some advice.

First, this sequel needs more explosions. Director General McChrystal needs to take a page out of Micheal Bay’s playbook and triple the number of explosions from the original war. That means he needs to drop 21 million bombs on Afghanistan, which will cause the TV pundits’ dicks to get harder than Bob Dole’s dick during a AVN Adult Entertainment Expo.

Second, director General McChrystal needs to make sure more civilians die. People love seeing dead people, so hopefully the number of bombs he’s going to drop will cause more deaths than the 1.1 million civilian deaths caused by the first Vietnam war.

Third, director General McChrystal needs to come up with a plot for this sequel. He needs to decide whether the plot’s going to be about finding Bin Laden or defeating the Taliban or protecting Afghan women or preventing another 9-11. Or he can combine these plots and create a mega plot that appeals to everyone. Something like: “America is fighting this war because we need to defeat the Taliban in order to prevent another 9-11 that Bid Laden is forcing the Afghan women to carry out.”

And finally, director General McChrystal needs a better soundtrack . (Which will be difficult since the first Vietnam War’s soundtrack was fucking badass.) The first Vietnam War soundtrack had Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, The Doors, The Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater Revival, John Lennon, Simon & Garfunkel, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and The Byrds. What will this Vietnam War soundtrack have? Miley Cyrus? The Jonas Brothers? Lady Gaga? If Direct General McChrystal doesn’t find better music then this sequel will lose more money than Grease 2.

Hopefully direct General McChrystal will follow my advice, and create the greatest sequel in the history of the world. Of course I’m not going to hold my breath, because insiders are saying this sequel is going to be a flop.

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Tags: Afghanistan, This war better be 100 times better than Vietnam, Vietnam part duex, War on Terror, White House
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And dumb as ever.

Former President George W. Bush fired a salvo at President Obama on Wednesday, asserting his administration’s interrogation policies were within the law, declaring the private sector, not government, will fix the economy and rejecting the nationalization of health care, the Washington Times reported.

Repeatedly in his hourlong speech and question-and-answer session, Bush said he would not directly criticize the new president, who has moved to take over financial institutions and several large corporations, the paper reported. Several times, however, he took direct aim at Obama policies as he defended his own during eight years in office.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s the difference between direct criticism and indirect? I mean, isn’t saying someone’s mother sleeps with many men for five dollars the same as saying she’s a cheap whore? For fuck’s sake governor bush, grow some fucking balls.

And what are these “several large corporations” the government has taken over? I can only name GM? What are the others?

And besides pushing for national health care and “ending” waterboarding, how is Obama any different than bush? Both love going to war. Both love having large prisons to keep detainees forever. Both love signing billion dollar war bills. Both love giving private contractors taxpayers’ money. Both love using the state secrets privilege. Both love bailing out Wall Street. Both love bailing out the auto industry. And both love having former Goldman Sachs employees as Treasury Secretaries.

So where are the fucking differences?

There are none. Both of these fucking guys love the taste of rich white man seman, and they don’t give a shit about anyone else. So could we please stop with this bush vs Obama shit? Because we’ve got more important things to talk about. Like getting David Letterman off the air.

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Tags: Barack Obama, George Bush, War on Terror, White House
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You’re just now figuring this shit out ?

Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) has been battling the banks the last few weeks in an effort to get 60 votes lined up for bankruptcy reform. He’s losing.

On Monday night in an interview with a radio host back home, he came to a stark conclusion: the banks own the Senate.

“And the banks — hard to believe in a time when we’re facing a banking crisis that many of the banks created — are still the most powerful lobby on Capitol Hill. And they frankly own the place,” he said on WJJG 1530 AM’s “Mornings with Ray Hanania.” Progress Illinois picked up the quote.

Really?  You’ve just come to the conclusion that the banks own Washington because they oppose this bill?

You didn’t think the banks owned Washington when politicians got rid of all the regulation that was in place for 50 years?  You didn’t think the banks owned Washington when they got bailed out during the Savings and Loans scandal?  You didn’t think the banks owned Washington when they said, “Fuck you” and gave out huge bonuses this year?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Dick Durbin, you’re a goddamn idiot.  How the hell do you still have a job?   I mean, if you’re just now realizing the banks own Washington, what else haven’t you realized?   Do you still think Iraq has WMDs?  Do you still think there’s a link between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein?  Do you still think Ronald Reagan was kept in the dark about Iran-Contra?

Goddammit.  You’ve been a member of Congress since January 3, 1983, so you know the banks own Washington.  You also know that Wall Street owns Washington, the Pharmaceutical industry owns Washington, the Military owns Washington, the Prison industry owns Washington, and the Prostitution industry owns Washington.

So quit acting like this is a huge surprise, and get back to doing your goddamn job – fucking over minorities, giving billions of dollars to Wall Street, and choosing which country we bomb next.

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Tags: Dick Durbin, Wall Street, Washington D.C, What an idiot, White House
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You’ve just gotten a taste of how this torture shit is going to play out.

Liberal activists are pressing for the impeachment of federal Judge Jay Bybee over the Bush administration’s “torture memos” in part because there is virtually nothing that President Barack Obama, congressional Republicans or conservative Senate Democrats can do to stop the process from getting underway.

Ah, yes, the classic Washington “Us verses Them” bullshit.  Where the Democrats will say things like, “This is outrageous.  How is this man a federal judge?  He signed a memo giving permission to waterboard detainees, stick their heads in a box full of bugs, slam their heads into a wall, slap them, and deprive them of sleep.  How can this man say he will uphold the Constitution when he shat on its chest 7 years ago?”

And the Republicans will respond with, “Fuck that.  There were high ranking Democrats who knew we were torturing those nasty brown pieces of shit in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Did they object?  Fuck no.  They were too busy getting paid thousands of dollars by lobbyists to care about the fucked up shit we were doing to people.  If they’re going to impeach anyone it should be their own goddamn selves.”

Think I’m lying?  Read this shit :

Republicans are pushing back. The Judiciary Committee’s ranking member, Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), warned that Democratic leaders also would also come under scrutiny. He said Podesta should also pursue House Speaker Nancy Pelosi over her lack of action following classified briefings she received on the interrogation techniques.

“If he wants to be absolutely fair, he ought to ask the speaker to resign as well,” Smith told POLITICO on Monday. “Clearly, any attorney should be able to offer their legal advice and give their best counsel to a president and to an administration without fear of someone trying to reach back and impeach them when they get to a higher office.”

So it looks like nothing is going to change.  Rich, powerful white people will continue to torture  poor brown people.  The media will continue to make this a Republicans vs. Democrats issue.  And Americans could care less because they are too busy worrying about the stupid fucking swine flu.

You know…business as usual…

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Tags: Congress, Democrats, Jay Bybee, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans, White House
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Looks like Iraq is starting to see some improvements.  Naw, I’m just fucking with ya.

Suicide bombers in Iraq launched two deadly attacks Thursday, killing at least 55 people in Diyala province and at least 28 people in Baghdad, an Interior Ministry official said.

Four other people were killed in two other incidents, making Thursday the deadliest day in Iraq this year, with at least 87 dead and more than 120 wounded.

Jesus Christ.  87 people killed in one day?  Do you think those people are counted toward the 87,215 Iraqi citizens that have been killed since 2005?

What am I talking about?  Who the fuck cares about the number of Iraqi citizens killed in this war?  We have a job to do.

We have to continue to pour billions of dollars into Iraq.  We have to continue to risk our soldiers’ lives in a war based on lies.  We have to continue to kick down random Iraqis’ doors and kidnap them.  We have to continue to torture Iraqis for information about upcoming attacks they know nothing about.  We have to continue to spread democracy throughout the Middle East.

We have to continue to fuck over Americans by not providing them with health care, better education, better housing, more food, and more jobs.  We have to continue to sacrifice for those people who are profiting from this war.  We have to continue to give up our freedoms for the illusion of safety.  We have to continue to ignore how much our government doesn’t care about us.

We have to continue to stand by and do nothing as our nation collapses before our eyes.

Update:  Looks like things are continuing to get better.

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Tags: Barack Obama, Iraq, War on Terror, We are so fucked, White House
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Do any of you know what WW2-era Germany and Italy and present-day Russia, Cuba, Venezuela, Peru, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Zimbabwe, North Korea, and China have in common with the United States?  It isn’t torture.  And it isn’t the slaughtering of thousands of innocent people either.  Give up?

It’s propaganda!!!

What propaganda?  The propaganda David Barstow reported on and won a Pulitzer Prize for.

Awarded to David Barstow of The New York Times for his tenacious reporting that revealed how some retired generals, working as radio and television analysts, had been co-opted by the Pentagon to make its case for the war in Iraq, and how many of them also had undisclosed ties to companies that benefited from policies they defended.

Of course some people will say, “The White House telling the Pentagon to hire retired high-ranking generals and putting them on ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN, and having them read talking points that the Pentagon prepared just for them so they could drum-up support for the Iraq war, which in turn helped the companies they worked for, isn’t called  propaganda.  It’s called patriotism.”

And those people are fucking wrong.

You see, propaganda is the dissemination of information aimed at influencing the opinions or behaviors of people. Propaganda often presents facts selectively (thus lying by omission) to encourage a particular synthesis, or gives loaded messages in order to produce an emotional rather than rational response to the information presented. The desired result is a change of the attitude toward the subject in the target audience to further a political agenda.

It’s what the White House used to gain support for the Iraq war.  It’s what the Germans used to gain support for the Holocaust.  It’s what North Korea uses to make its citizens think Kim Jong il pisses gold.  It’s what China and Russia uses to control their populations.

Of course those countries don’t admit to using propaganda.  They like to hide behind the “patriotism” statement just like retarded Americans do.

So if you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe our government uses propaganda, and the Main Stream Media really cares about America – please do the world a favor and follow in David Kellermann’s footsteps. Because we don’t need dumb motherfuckers like you reproducing.

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Tags: China, David Barstow, Iraq War, Pentagon, Propaganda, White House
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