Someone was influenced by Pee Wee Herman growing up.

Terrorists tried to blow up New York City again:

New York City’s police commissioner said Sunday that authorities are examining several leads in the failed Times Square car bombing that would have caused a “significant fireball,” focusing closely on a surveillance video that captured a man fleeing the scene.

Commissioner Ray Kelly said it was “the intent of whoever did this to cause mayhem, create casualties” and noted that some munitions of the potentially powerful bomb detonated inside the SUV parked in Times Square on Saturday.

[...]

Kelly said during a press conference Sunday that the NYPD is analyzing a surveillance video showing a unidentified white male in his 40′s fleeing the scene. Kelly said the man is seen in the footage shedding a dark-colored shirt in an alley and putting it in a bag, revealing a red one underneath.

Never mind people. This attack wasn’t done by a terrorist. It was down by an extremist. Huuuuuuge difference.

How so you ask?

Well, you see, a terrorist is a young Muslim man while an extremist is a middle-aged white guy. A terrorist hates America and her freedoms while an extremist loves America but hates her current president. A terrorist gets his news from the bias Al Jazeera while an extremist gets his news from the fair and balanced Fox News. A terrorist follows the teachings of a blood thirsty lunatic while an extremist follows the teachings of a peace loving pacifist. A terrorist gets sent to Gitmo and Bagram where he will be tortured and never receive a trial while an extremist will be sent to a federal prison to await a trial judged by a jury of his peers. And a terrorist gets his family’s neighborhood bombed by unmanned predator drones while an extremist gets his family’s neighborhood bombarded by 24-hour news vans.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_PX5L_v_7I

Naw, I’m just fucking with you. He’s probably embarrassed :

There’s a new slogan making its way onto car bumpers and across the Internet. It reads simply: “Pray for Obama: Psalm 109:8”

A nice sentiment?

Maybe not.

The psalm reads, “Let his days be few; and let another take his office.”

Presidential criticism through witty slogans is nothing new. Bumper stickers, t-shirts, and hats with “1/20/09” commemorated President Bush’s last day in office.

But the verse immediately following the psalm referenced is a bit more ominous: “Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow.”

Someone please help me out, because I’m confused with this religion stuff. Alright, now if you’re a Christian then that means you believe in Jesus Christ, right? And if you believe in Jesus Christ then you follow the New Testament, right? Then why the fuck are these Christians quoting the Old Testament?

See, I always thought that Jesus taught his followers to love their enemies. But I’m not getting that vibe from these people. They seem to get off on the whole ‘eye for an eye’ thing. Which is fine if they practiced Judaism. But they don’t, and that pisses me off.

Why? Because they’re able to do/say awful things to people they don’t like because of the Old Testament while not feeling guilty about it because of the New Testament. And it’s fucking bullshit.

Either pick the Old Testament or the New Testament, Judaism or Christianity, you crazy fucks, because you can’t have both. You can’t claim gay people are evil because of some verse in Leviticus and then say you’re free from sin because of some verse in Mathew…wait, I’ve never heard those shitheads quoting Matthew. Or any other New Testament verse besides Revelation.

So how the fuck do these people claim to be Christians? And why the fuck do people call them Christians?

Goddammit, this shit is a thousands times more confusing than watching Lost on LSD.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6KGZ4UQjgc

Praise Jebus for groupthink.

I love the outrage over illegal immigration and how much money it’s costing America.

Where’s the outrage over the trillions of dollars being spent in a war that was started by falsified intelligence?  Where’s the outrage over the hundreds of billions of dollars being spent on a bailout for Wall Street?  Where’s the outrage over the forty billion dollars being spent each year on the colossal failure known as the War on Drugs?

It’ll never come because white people are the ones benefiting from it.  They’re about to get their ‘never been fucked over’ cherry popped by a brown cock they don’t want.

And…I love it.

Any race who has two movies about high school kids that sing become number one at the box office deserves to be the one getting fucked for a change.

Jesus Christ CNN…do you look at the pictures before posting them? Does this guy look like he knows anything about politics?

Fuck…he looks retarded. I kinda feel bad for him. Millions of people are going to see how goddamn ugly he looks.

Alright…maybe I’m being harsh. I know he can’t help the way he looks.  God made him that way and God never makes a mistake.

I’ll read what he has to say before I judge him:

Less than 24 hours before the presidential election, Kevin Sheen has yet to decide who will get his vote.

“I’m actually still wrestling with moral issues,” says the 29-year-old registered Democrat, who voted for George W. Bush in 2004.

Sheen, of Lincoln, Nebraska, says his vote is coming down to one issue: abortion. Sheen says he’s “definitely pro-life” and he’s trying to decide whether Democrat Barack Obama or Republican John McCain is more in line with his views.

“Neither of them have the track record I would like in a political candidate. So at this point, it’s me sort of deciding upon, who do I think will be the best representation for if something is able to happen with the issue of abortion,” he say

Abortion?

He is basing this entire election on abortion?

How does abortion affect him? He isn’t a woman.  He can’t give birth. He can’t breast feed.

I guarantee you this man hasn’t even been laid yet.

The only way for abortion to affect him is if he rapes a woman and she doesn’t want his sperm fertilizing her egg.

Abortion.

Does he even know what a pussy is?

If this man hasn’t raped a child now…give him 3 years…

…he has to grow his mustache first…

Want to hear a funny joke?

Good.

Alright…now I’m a little nervous because I don’t know how to tell jokes good…alright here it goes.

What’s the difference between a black felon and a white felon?

Give up?

A black felon fucks over himself. A white felon fucks over you.

So…what do ya think…..no…..damnit…