I wish I had a direct line to Sarah Palin like my friend Zirgar, but I’m not that well connected. So I have to rely on William Shatner’s reading of Sarah Palin’s speech in order to understand what the fuck that beautiful crazy bitch said.

But to be honest, I still don’t have a fucking clue what she said. I mean, what the shit does this mean?

And I promised that we would get a natural gas pipeline underway and we did. Since I was a little kid growing up here, I remember the discussions, especially the political discussions just talking about and hoping for and dreaming of commercializing our clean, abundant, needed natural gas.

Who dreams about commercializing natural gas? And what little kid remembers political discussions involving dreaming about commercializing natural gas?

I’ll tell you who can remember stupid shit like that: autistic savants.

Which means Sarah Palin has just told the world that she’s a fucking retarded genius. And if there’s one thing the American people love more than a gun-loving Christian politician…it’s a retarded gun-loving Christian politician.

Goddammit, we are so fucked.

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